


Undefined

by luckycharm



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Jude/Zero fanfiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:34:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckycharm/pseuds/luckycharm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude decides to break some bad habits. Dividing from Zero turns out to be an impossible habit to break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undefined

_**Jude** _

 

It was easy to fall into a habit, a habit that was born from just _letting it be,_ because the alternate was too hard to bear. So, he let it form, and with each repetition, it became harder to break. That was the problem with bad habits.

He told himself, for the hundredth time today, that he’d bite the bullet, put his foot down, and stop. He would put a stop to it. First step was to identify the problem. Check. Second was to define it. Third was to conquer it. He was still stuck on the second step. But, he’d given himself a good mental thrashing for being so easily manipulated, and had finally resolved to break this stalemate. It was going to be defined and concluded.

Starting today....

***

 

Coming home, bone tired, emotionally exhausted, and dirtier than when he woke up that morning, from slugging through the slime that was negotiation and smoozing, all he wanted was a hot shower and a cold beer. In that order. Then, _then_ , he’d finally make the call that he’d been trying to avoid for weeks. Liquid courage, so to speak.

The bowl of forgotten cereal, soggy to a mush, in a sea of milk, lying innocuously on his coffee table, caught his eye, and reminded him that the best laid plans were the first to be shot to hell. Fuck.

“You’re home. Finally.” The man in question came out of the bathroom, steam billowing behind him, clad only in a towel that hung precariously low on his sinfully chiselled hips that carved into a “V” leading to a place that.... well....

Jude swallowed, hoping to moisten his suddenly parched throat, as his eyes trailed the journey of that “V” down, _down_ , until it was blocked by the rim of the towel. “What...,” it came out as a squeak, so he cleared his throat and tried again, “What...are you doing here?”

Zero’s left eyebrow shot up, as if in amusement. He said nothing, but his cool, blue eyes appraised Jude, head to toe. Slowly. _Deliberately_.

He stepped closer to Jude, and Jude couldn’t help the unconscious step that he took back, at the impeding approach. This earned Jude a lift of that mouth, into that trademark smirk, and a question in response to his question. “Why are you suddenly nervous?” The words practically dripped, moist and wet, from Zero’s lips.

“I’m...I’m not nervous. Just surprised. Was going to call...you. Didn’t expect to um... see you here...today.”

Zero stepped closer. His fingers flicked the tucked end of his towel and the towel, along with Jude, sighed at the release, as it dropped to the floor. “Lucky you, then,” Zero whispered as his hands shot up, one hand curving along the back of Jude’s head, the other, curving along the shape of Jude’s ass, as he brought their bodies together, pressed tight, and took Jude’s lips into a biting kiss.

Jude couldn’t help the groan that turned into a moan, as he sank into the solidness of the body before him. It spoke of strength, a strength that he was desperately lacking tonight, as he felt his resolve slip away. He tried, just once, without conviction in his actions, to push away at the shoulders before him, but that seemed to make Zero press their bodies tighter together. Out of habit, his arms stopped pushing, coming to wrap around Zero’s neck, pulling Zero to him, as he deepened their kiss, swallowing a responding moan from Zero. He felt Zero’s hands pressing into his ass, grinding their cocks together. Hard and hot. Naked and clothed.

Zero seemed to have noticed, too, as his hands came up to free Jude of his clothing. Tugging at his tie, pushing the suit off his broad shoulders, long, nimble fingers unhooking Jude’s belt, until it clanged to the floor, along with the rest of his clothing. Until Jude was standing before the other man, completely naked and unprotected from his gaze.

He heard Zero take a sharp intake of breath.

Jude held still, his ragged breath the only noise filling the room. Fingers touched him, feathering a trail along the contours of his muscles, along his pecs, lightly brushing a peaked nipple, until it made its way down, along the cobbled road of his abs, rising and falling with each breath, until finally, the fingers tangled with the hair down there, and curved to grip along his flushed and throbbing cock.

“Mmm....lucky me,” Zero whispered, his gaze transfixed on the play of his own fingers, along the length of Jude’s cock.

“Zero, wait, stop, we need to talk...I...” The squeeze of his cock, and the twist of its head, with that _just perfect_ pressure, left him bereft of any further words, as he resigned to this unbreakable habit, once more. Just one more time. Defining boundaries be damned. His body followed his mental surrender, as he slumped into Zero, his forehead caving into the solid shoulders before him, tucking his nose into that corded neck, and sighing deeply.

It felt good. It felt like relief. That was another problem with bad habits. It reinforced itself, and falling headfirst into it felt more freeing, more right, than it did constricting. It was hard to justify its wrongness when it felt so fucking right; when it eased the pain in that part of yourself you didn’t even know existed. Until, until something, _someone_ , came along, and made that part throb, making you aware of its existence, its insatiable need.

And wasn’t that just the fucking kick in the nuts?

“Unnghhhhh...” The sound drew out of Jude, long and deep, as Zero’s fingers deftly squeezed his balls and stroked his cock, in a fucking beautiful rhythm.

***

_**Zero** _

 

 

Zero’s mouth latched onto Jude's neck, trailing bruising kisses until his mouth reached the area near the juncture of Jude’s neck and clavicle, where his tongue, out of habit, traced the mole that enticed him to touch Jude’s skin whenever he wore an open collared shirt. Or whenever he was naked....or whenever Jude was in front of him.

He made his way down that body, which had grown so familiar over the last few weeks, yet remained a map of constant discovery, with uncovered trails unearthed every time. It was what made it so fucking good with Jude. The other man met his needs, full throttle, all out, hard on hard, matching his beat, every goddamn time. And he didn’t have to hold back any, because Jude wouldn’t break. Jude didn’t break....yet.

He sunk to his knees, ready to show his appreciation, and _maybe_ , a little voice at the back of his mind whispered faintly, to let die whatever words stood ready to be spilled from Jude’s pouted lips. Because words messed shit up. Words of promises, of reassurance. Words hollowed them out, words complicated them. Words attempted to constrict, to define, to chain an identity to reality. Words couldn’t be taken back. It hung, out there, and he was never sure when it was real, having used words as part of the game for far too long.

So he found a better use for his mouth, and swallowed Jude’s leaking cock, so hot, so hard, throbbing to the pulse of his heartbeat, and so fucking strong. He wanted to suck the strength out of it until Jude could do nothing but lay there, staying, right beside Zero.

Zero roughly slapped a plump, muscled asscheek, eliciting a tortured groan from Jude, making Jude instinctively spread his legs wider, for purchase. He grabbed hold of the roundness, one in each palm, and pushed that cock deeper still, down his throat, choking the unwilling words from being spilled. He couldn’t give Jude what he wanted to hear, but he could give him this. And damned if he wasn’t going to give it his winning performance.

A responding moan, and shaking hands grabbing a fistful of his hair, from above, gave him all the proof that he needed. He let Jude palm the back of his head, hesitant, unsure still, until he worked his throat tighter, pushing that cock deeper, harder, telling Jude, _do it, take it, take what you need. I’ll give it._ Telling without saying. That was all the unspoken cue Jude needed to fuck his mouth with abandon, his hips thrusting like a piston, gripping and guiding Zero’s head to the frenzied pace that chased that relief to the edge until it fell over. In spurts of come that shot straight down Zero’s throat. Grunts like staccato bullets, hailing on Zero from above, from the inside, all around.

He felt before he heard, Jude’s legs giving out, and he caught the other man easily, arms hugging the back of Jude’s knees, guiding him as he slumped to the rug on the floor.

“Oh my gooooddd.......” It came out shaky, and awe-filled, from Jude’s mouth.

Zero smiled down at the spent man. His voice was raspy and hoarse as he spoke, “I told you, you and God, the only two reasons I’m here.” He gave the softening cock an affectionate squeeze, swiping an errant drop of cum from its tip with his finger and licking it clean with his tongue.

Jude shook his head, eyes tracing the path of Zero’s finger to his mouth, his own tongue involuntarily coming out to lick his lips, until he seemed to come out of his trance, and rolled his eyes at Zero, exasperated. “You’re fucking twisted, you know that, right? Full of shit.”

At that, something in Zero snapped. He grabbed Jude’s bicep, maybe a bit too hard, if the cringe in Jude’s expression was anything to go by, but he spoke clearly and clipped. “Not with you. Never with you. _You_ know that, don’t you?” He was searching in those green eyes, for something, some acknowledgement, that Jude knew. That Jude understood.

Jude met his gaze, the green to his blue, and swallowed thickly, before whispering quietly, “Yeah, I know.....Zero.” The name, tagged to the tail end of that statement as it was, seemed hollow; out of place and like an afterthought.

Jude reached out and squeezed Zero’s still-hard cock, but there was no heat to his touch.

Zero narrowed his eyes at Jude, grasping his wrist from further movement. “What’s wrong with you today? Your ass is wound up tight, even for you.” He reached between Jude’s legs, searching until he found his opening, dipping his middle finger into the sweet tightness of it. “I could loosen it up for you.” He gave Jude his best devilish smirk, hoping to ease the tension that clung to the walls of the room, to their very bones.

Jude snapped at that, vehemently snatching Zero’s hand away from his body, his mouth drawn into a tight line. “That’s all you want, right? Fuck me ten ways to Sunday, and then what happens, Zerooo?” He drew out the name, mockery in full force. “Then do you fuck me over?”

“Seriously, what the fuck is your problem? I told you...”

Jude cut him off before he could finish, rounding up to a sitting position, as far away from Zero as he could get on the small rug, hugging his naked body tight to him. He looked so small and vulnerable, Zero thought. Like a little lost boy. “Yeah, yeah, I know....you told me. We’re just having a good time. You don’t _do_ relationships. At least not with a man.” So quietly that Zero strained to hear, Jude added, “Not with me.”

Zero sighed. He had an inkling they were headed down this road again, when he saw Jude and his mood enter the apartment tonight. He had hoped that in the midst of all the distraction, Jude would have forgotten. Would have let that damned nagging topic go. Once, and, for all. He was getting tired of wondering what would set off those ridiculous thoughts in Jude, and trying to stay clear of those minefields. Looked like he failed miserably today. And he thought he had made a damned good effort, too. Fuck.

He searched the other man’s eyes, for a deeper truth that lay hidden. There was something Jude was not telling him. “Why are you bringing this up now? Did something happen today?” He swallowed past the bitter taste that suddenly rose up in his throat as a thought occurred to him. “Did you meet up with that guy? Donny? That photographer’s lackey?”

Jude gave him an exasperated shake of his head. “His name is Danny. He’s the photographer’s assistant. And, no. It’s got nothing to do with him. It’s just me.” Jude ducked his head, and sighed, “I’m just....tired.”

“Tired of what? You seemed pretty satisfied a minute ago.” Zero couldn’t help the accusatory tone creeping into his voice.

Jude gave him a pathetic smile, and shook his head. “Tired of it all staying the same. Tired of wanting but not getting. Tired of putting myself out there, dividing myself into pieces for everyone to take, reaching out, to you, to Oscar...and getting nothing back. Just once, I’d...,” Jude swallowed past the lump building in his throat. “Just once, I’d like someone to reach back, you know?”

The emotions, raw and unguarded, pouring out of Jude, hit Zero like a punch to the gut, and left him frozen and breathless. He was expecting something, but not this. This was why he didn’t do relationships. Because it was pain. Pain, hurt, disappointment and betrayal. And he was about to play that out for Jude. Because, really, what would be the alternative?

Zero pushed down the remaining thoughts, unwilling to venture into that territory, because he couldn’t go there. He wouldn’t go there. That wasn’t his reality. It had never been his reality. There, _there_ , it was a zero sum game.

He felt it, though, felt the space between him and Jude yawning and stretching, wider and wider, although they sat mere feet apart, both naked and bruised. And it built a panic in Zero, the more the silence stretched between them, taking on a gnawing weight, becoming unbearable. He wanted to fix it. He knew he had to fix it. He had to find the right words, he had to persuade Jude. He wished he could game himself out of this, with some coy words and heated touches. That’s what he knew. That’s what he did best. And for Jude, for him to stay, he would do it. He’d bring the best he had. Something. Anything. Except, _that_....

Jude kept looking at him, waiting for him to say something, and it seemed that he saw something in Zero’s eyes because he gave a rueful smile and nodded his head, to himself. After a moment, he got up, and turned to walk away.

Zero’s panicked voice trailed after him, “Wait, where are you going?!”

“Shower. To wash the dirt off from today. It’s been a long day.” He turned, glancing at Zero sitting unmoving on the rug, rooted to the spot, “Let yourself out.”

This was not how it was supposed to go down. Jude had told him that he’d always be there for him. Sure, a cynical part reminded him that Jude got him to come to LA only to please his father, Oscar, and that he had started off as a piece in Jude’s plea for approval from Daddy Dearest. But, he’d thought, over time, they had built something. Something real. Something he rarely ever tasted. Beyond the sex, beyond the lies and manipulation, beyond the game playing and deal making, beyond the smoke and mirrors of their lives, they’d built something, together. They’d built it quietly and unassumingly, so foreign to them both that they missed its presence in every thing they had become. It was there, even in the sex, it was there. The friendship.

And Zero realized, with sudden clarity, that he couldn’t let it go. He stood, and called out right before Jude’s back disappeared into the bathroom, firm and full of quiet conviction. “Gideon.” The word felt weird forming in his mouth, full of effort, like a rusted wheel turning after years of unuse.

He saw Jude’s back muscle tense at the sudden sound, as Jude paused, and then turned, slowly. His voice was gentle, as if afraid to speak too loud to break the spell. “What?”

Zero met his gaze, unwavering and straight. “My name is Gideon.”

Jude smiled, as he took in the man in front of him. Naked as the day he came. The word flowed easily and effortlessly from Jude’s mouth. “Gideon,” he repeated softly.

***

That was the thing with habits. Some of them didn’t need to be broken completely, but divided into parts: wanted and unwanted. Dividing by Zero remained undefined. But, maybe, just _maybe_ , Gideon wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I can't wait for Season 3 of Hit the Floor, and seeing where they take Jude and Zero. Being that it is almost 7 long months away, I decided to entertain myself in the meantime, with everything Zude on the net. Trying to find some fanfiction didn't bear much fruit, so I decided to take matters into my *hands*, so to speak, and create some (:D). Hope you've been entertained, too! If so, leave me a message, would love to hear from fellow fans.


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